idonegaffedit:

i accidentally told my friend the sweetest pick up line ever. i started talking about solipsism (the belief that everything around you was created by your mind) and i went “If everything around me is all my imagination, then you’re the best thing I’ve come up with” she was speechless for a solid five minutes.

(via pandabell-is-a-thing)

suctioning:

Teacher: sit down
Me: drank

(via pandabell-is-a-thing)